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Television news switched off in favour of barbecue
British television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead...
View ArticleClaims Direct appointed to solve Gaza crisis
A team of crack lawyers from Claims Direct has been dispatched to Gaza on a mission to solve the crisis there on a ‘no win, now flee’ basis. They aim to help thousands of people who have suffered an...
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Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm
The Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce – purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli...
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Urgent call for cease-ceasefire in Gaza
Israel and Hamas should call a halt to the seemingly endless cycle of damaging ceasefires and return to normal hostilities as soon as possible, a consortium of global arms manufacturers and governments...
View ArticleUSA sends $47M to Gaza to build more targets for the Israelis
Last night US Congress agreed on an emergency package of $47 million to send to Gaza in order for them to construct better targets for the Israeli Air Force. The relentless attacks on Gaza by the IDF...
View ArticleThe rest of the world needs to stop depressing us, complains UK
By steadfastly focusing on gloom in Ukraine, Iraq, Gaza and West Africa, the world’s general grumpiness has detracted from the UK’s enjoyment of a new Dr Who, Kate Bush in concert and the anticipation...
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Jeremy Kyle sent to broker Middle East peace deal
Daytime talk show host Jeremy Kyle is being sent to Gaza in an attempt to bring together Israel and Palestine in an historic peace deal. In a special episode of his show entitled ‘how can we sort out...
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Blair retires as Middle East Peace Envoy; ‘my work is done’
There was a champagne reception for Tony Blair yesterday as he left his post as Middle East Peace envoy surrounded by bouquets and cards congratulating him on a job well done. ‘It just shows that if...
View ArticlePeace in Middle East after lab-grown pork ruled kosher
Decades of warfare and conflict in Palestine have ended completely and suddenly after a leading rabbi ruled that pork product cultured in a laboratory could be considered kosher because the animal’s...
View ArticleTo even things up, MoD to export rocks to Palestine
The UK & US having sold billions of pounds worth of military equipment to Israel, have decided the equitable thing to do is to send Gaza a super soaker, a latex sword and nerf gun. Said a diplomat:...
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